Perfume Review: Noir Epices by Frederic Malle
August 24th, 2006
I was all set on doing another Underrated Friday for today but then my boss decided to be a jerk to me yesterday and let me go before my two week notice ended which, needless to say, made me mad. So what did I do? I went passive aggressive (something I do very rarely - active aggression is my calling) and started imagining what type of revenge I could put him through. Since there’s not much I can do about the situation other than suck it up and learn my lesson, I figured I can at least think of a perfume that I’d love to stink up his office with. I will not be returning to that office, so I’m playing this game entirely in my imagination, and that’s satisfying enough. To accommodate my noir mood this week, I picked Noir Epices by Frederic Malle.
Noir Epices (Black Spices) is created by Michel Roudnitska, the perfumer behind my favorite Amoureuse. Noir Epices is all about spices, with a chypre effect. It features the notes of nutmeg, cinnamon, cloves, pepper, orange, geranium, sandalwood, patchouli. What I love about it in particular is that it’s defiant. It’s one of those scents others will be likely to get really put off by while you’ll feel honored and proud to be its wearer. Or rather it will wear you. Do not attempt to subdue it for it will not oblige. If fragrances came with warning labels as far as wearability, it would undoubtedly come with a “Wear at your own risk” label. Noir Epices opens up with a nosehair-burning blast of pepper and geranium and quickly gets intensified by yet more spices, as if saying, “Pepper alone won’t do it to be defiant enough, folks”. So you get hit by nutmeg and cloves and just a touch of cinnamon. It’s a debauchery of drunk spices. The sandalwood and patchouli come in at some point as if trying to keep the whole thing under control which they manage to do only to a degree. The drydown is very much a spicy, cinnamony geranium, just as bold and just as audacious. The debauchery lasts for hours, and you wake up the next day with an olfactory hangover. But I love it nonetheless, and that is the kind of scent I’d love to stink up the said office with for I know it will last and last and last.
What scent would you pick for a passive-aggressive revenge? I’ll also be doing a sample giveaway. Please mention in your comment you’d like to be included in the drawing for a sample of L’Artisan Dzongkha.
Noir Epices is available at Barneys New York and directly from the Frederic Malle online shop.
Image source: www.barneys.com
Entry Filed under: Perfume Reviews
36 Comments Add your own
1. Flora | August 25th, 2006 at 1:04 am
Well, my “passive-aggressive” one would have to be something I love, of course, but that I would never ordinarily wear to the office. I think something really different from my usual style that no one would expect from me wold be just the ticket. Since Oriental/spicy perfumes are the ones I wear the least, it would have to be SL Arabie, I think. It is so sweet and penetrating, almost overwhelming, yet I can’t get enough. I would splash it on with abandon in this situation.
Oh, and I would love to be in the drawing for the Dzongkha as well, thank you!
2. Trina | August 25th, 2006 at 2:18 am
I’d wear Angel. Lots of it. Because even if the boss liked it, there are enough haters that said boss would have to listen to the complaints of those who don’t *long* after I left (when I say “lots”, I mean LOTS). If I wanted to be truly evil, I’d dump a bottle of Cacao on the carpet just as I was leaving, so as not to have to smell it myself.
Please enter me in the Dzongkha drawing!
3. Leopoldo | August 25th, 2006 at 5:15 am
I’d join in in the Arabie splashing or alternatively overdose on l”Anarchiste so that the orange/mint thing morphs into blood horror, symbolising how I’d been bled dry by my vampiric boss. Commiserations, by the way.
Dzongkha me all the way baby!
4. Elle | August 25th, 2006 at 7:10 am
NK Incense or NK Perfume. I usually apply them in minute amounts, but if I wanted to annoy the h*ll out of someone I’d spray them on. Both can knock out small children it their wake.
Great description of NE. I *adore* it. In small doses.
That’s a great idea of Trina’s. Your boss deserves having a bottle of MPG Eau de Mure dropped on the carpet.
5. benvenuta | August 25th, 2006 at 7:22 am
I`d wear an overdose of either DSH Erotica or Black Cashmere and an innocent face.
I never tried NE, but your description intrigues me. As the fall approaches I`m regaining interest in spicy scents. I must try it!
And I`d love to try Dzongkha too…
6. greeneyes | August 25th, 2006 at 7:25 am
I have a lot of “sensitive to perfume” types at my office, so I’d wear a LOT of something that can’t be ignored, that isn’t timid…like Carnal Flower or Fracas. LOTS of it. As Trina said, even if they liked the smell (and I’m sure several of them would go all headachey), they’d be complaining about it for a long time.
Dzongkha drawing–YES!
7. chaya ruchama | August 25th, 2006 at 7:48 am
May I do the draw with you, please?
That out of the way, I have to agree with you about NE- I love to smell it, and it starts off liking me, then skanks out in an in-your-face-way, then tries to play nice-nice…no one could accuse THAT one of being linear !
Where do we begin?!
Anyone who bathed in Lys Mediterannee would definitely clear the workplace, and fast…[even though I love it]
Then there’s Ouarzazate, CDg’s lovechild, pretty in tiny squirts, but noxious to the general public- THAT would work! [hee hee hee]
Oh, oh, YOUTH DEW, with a heavy hand, in those offices where the windows won’t open!
Comptoire’s Vanille Banane, sprayed over and over and over again!
LOTS of crappy quality patchouli a la Harvard square, liberally doused EVERYWHERE….
I’m having so much FUN!
Stop me, Ina, NOW…
Then, there’s Ouarzazate CdG’s lovechild- nice in small squits, but probably noxious to the general public…[hee heee heee…]
8. chaya ruchama | August 25th, 2006 at 7:51 am
Oops!
I pressed a button somewhere- my mistake!
9. Sara | August 25th, 2006 at 8:06 am
I would dig up all the BPAL imps I have somewhere and anoint myself with all of them simultaneously. That oughta do it!
I would love to try Dzongkha–can I be entered into the drawing?
10. March | August 25th, 2006 at 8:17 am
Enter me in the drawing, please!
Oh, I LOVE the Noir Epices! Patty thinks it’s evil. I like its brashness; like you I am more actively aggressive, and passive aggression just irritates me.
Hard question — it would have to be something I think is great that everyone else hates … probably Hypnotic Poison. That Le Labo Vetiver is pretty bad, too — makes me smell unbathed.
11. Marina | August 25th, 2006 at 8:39 am
(((Ina)))
I actually don’t think Noir Epices is defiant, I think it’s chilled down and serene, but I am sure that the moron boss would SUFFER if you wore this around him in huge amounts. Ugh.
If I wanted a revenge on someone…I could either go into a kamikaze mode and wear something truly vile that I hate….like enormous amounts of Lolita Lempicka…imagine THAT in a small closed office space *evil cackle* Or I’d wear Bandit, which is one spiteful scent (and I love it).
12. Judith | August 25th, 2006 at 9:02 am
I’m so sorry about the yucky boss! you are well out of there. When I first went to the Malle counter at Barney’s this was the scent that the wonderful Luis liked best on me. I, however, liked–and bought–MR. i’m glad I did (I love it), but I like this one a lot; I’ve acquired several minis of it that I am very glad to have.
On the revenge: I would either go with Elle on the NKs (probably incense for me, or a mixture of the two, which is great), or–and I think this would be my final choice–large amounts of Tabac Blond.
13. jill | August 25th, 2006 at 9:48 am
I would love to horrify your horrifc boss with Miel du Bois, strategically re-sprayed every half hour to keep the urine note pulsating strongly. He’d be tasting it all day!
And I’d love to be entered in the drawing
14. violetnoir | August 25th, 2006 at 10:47 am
Ooh, I don’t like that little man. How about a big blast of Bandit in his face, Ina? I could take the leather thing further, but since this is a family site, I won’t, lol!
And, yes…please enter me in the drawing. Merci!
Hugs!
15. Twibbet | August 25th, 2006 at 11:09 am
Oooh, what a jerk. I’d do tons of Black Cashmere, except I would pass out on the floor and have to be carried out, which might detract from the effect
L’Instant would have a similar result - Murder/Suicide with Vanilla. Otherwise, Amoureuse has my vote - it kicks butt, and I love it!
I’m really intrigued by Dzongkha - please sign me up for the drawing!
16. BBliss | August 25th, 2006 at 11:34 am
How about the universally-loathed, most unpleasant Rose Poivree by The Different Company? I actually like it, but ONLY dabbed - sprayed it turns very, very menacing and now I understand the repulsion of it! Two sprays will just kill you (or in this case, the boss) I’m pretty sure!
Hope your weekend gets better!
Do include me for the Dzongkha draw - thank you!
17. Allie | August 25th, 2006 at 1:08 pm
I like to think of my Montaigne edt from Caron as an “invisible force field” that has the power to incinerate all those enter it’s radius. LOL… 1 spray is heaven, 4 sprays and it’s homicide! Also good for revenge is Je T’aime from Des Filles A la Vanille, it’s toxic, rotting berries on a bed of moldy vanilla pudding. Am I allowed in the drawing?
18. Solander | August 25th, 2006 at 1:15 pm
Unless I’d wear something I hate myself (like heavy, soapy, traditional white florals) I’d probably wear Les Nereides Oriental Lumpur which is a very dry spice scent, curry and chilli, not at all perfumey. If they don’t hate it it will at least make them hungry…
Oh and I’d love to be in the drawing too.
19. Andrea | August 25th, 2006 at 2:42 pm
Oh, Ina… I,m really sorry!
So what about CdP’s Vanilla Banana or Abricot? Some more heavy doses of berries? K. Mecheri’s Wild Berries! SL: Miel du Bois (yup jill, he deserves it!) Tons of Angel? Chopard’s Wish? I,m wicked, so I better stop now.
Revenge should be like a good dessert: ice cold and sweet
Once I heard the anecdote that Josephine perfumed all her apartments with quite some heavy juices (like muscs or amber) when she had been left from Napoleon (who fancied lighter colognes) for this austrian arch duchess? What a revenge!
20. Judith | August 25th, 2006 at 2:56 pm
Boy, everyone is dumping on Rose Poivree. Please send all your poor, unwanted RP to me; Ina knows my address:)
21. Tigs | August 25th, 2006 at 5:00 pm
I’m truly sorry Ina, that sucks. Just remember, the best revenge is smelling good.
22. Tom | August 25th, 2006 at 5:32 pm
Sorry about that INA, but let me tell you, I had the exact same thing happen to me and it ended up being the most freeing thing that happened to me in years. Just the fact that I never had to look that person in his beady little eyes (or considering the height difference, at his badly done hairplugs) made me want to sing with happiness.
As to the revenge, I’d go for MKK. Rather than the dab to the sternum I do when I normally wear it, I’d decant it into a spray botlle and bathe in it. And respray every hour or or so. Then, as my last act before leaving, I’d find a way into the HVAC system and dump about a gallon of whatever gawd-awful thing I could find (I’d have to de research but I was thinking along the lines of the fictional “haute été de gaz d’égout”. Maybe a dead badger as well.
But I’m not bitter…
Please enter me in the drawing.
23. Ina | August 25th, 2006 at 6:56 pm
Thank you all for your super cool comments! Sorry I haven’t had a chance to respond to every single one individually but it’s been fun reading your ideas! I’ll do the drawing within the next couple days and announce the winner here. Good weekend to all!
24. CindyN | August 25th, 2006 at 8:46 pm
Ina,
I’d fill his space with Fracas: over-the-top, in-your-face, can’t get it out of his nostrils, and never forget you, Fracas. Neither the name, the scent, nor the definition.
So there, take that, Mr. Jerk Boss.
I hope you can enjoy your interim time off.
Also, may I please be entered in the drawing?
CindyN
25. Amy K | August 26th, 2006 at 1:10 am
I think Opium would do the trick! If you hosed down your office with a bottle of that, your former co-workers would be smelling it for about a year after you left.
I would love to be included in the sample drawing - Dzongkha sounds wonderful.
26. sybil | August 26th, 2006 at 7:25 am
Urrggh…bad boss. I’d check w/ a lawyer, if you know any. It’s not legal in some states to dismiss a person AFTER they’ve given their 2 weeks, w/out giving them salary/paycheck. Maybe it’ll come to nothing, but it might be worth checking. Might you be a member of a protected class?(due to race, religon, etc?) If so, youI might be inclined to mention that to a lawyer, if you really wanted to stir the pot.
As for revenge…I’d dump a bottle of Star Boutiques Vanilla Martini on the floor in the break room, and wear a nice dose of Guerlain Vetiver for myself.
Oh, and after all this blather, am I too late for the Dzongha drawing?
27. Alica | August 26th, 2006 at 7:41 am
I like spiced frags very much and would like to be included in the drawing. Thanks
28. Josey | August 26th, 2006 at 10:34 pm
I ADORE Noir Espices…was given a mini when I bought the Musc Ravageur oil at Barney’s. It IS agressive, but so gorgeous…dark, almost burnt spices…mmm….
Enter me in the drawing? =D
29. Lucy | August 27th, 2006 at 10:21 am
I hope this will be the end of the unhappy work life and lead you to the beginning of the happiest work life you have ever had.
If you could sneak me in so late to the drawing, I’d be most grateful…
Revenge scents: something really awful, like that Body Shop orange thing, satsuma I think it is, they are always blasting it out into the street in front of the open doors somehow, but then that would be cruel…
30. Jenn | August 27th, 2006 at 1:05 pm
Someone recommended this to me after I said I wanted a scent that smelled like pain d’epice, although after reading your review, I’m not sure this is at all like pain d’epice.
31. chaya ruchama | August 28th, 2006 at 8:16 am
Ina, angel-
After much thought, I revisited NE and am wearing it right now…or it’s wearing me [equal parts, I think!]…
I love it!
32. carmencanada | August 28th, 2006 at 4:44 pm
You’ve inspired me to try Noir Epices, one of the Malle scents I never got around to sampling (with Malle, sampling is promptly followed with buying)… Please include me in your draw!
As for passive-agressive scents, I tend to agree with the Bandit/ Fracas options.
Or just spill a whole 4 oz of Tabu edc in his office. Cheap thrills. Guaranteed to last a lifetime.
33. Wendy | September 1st, 2006 at 4:26 pm
For my passive-aggressive (fantasy) revenge , it would be a mixture of J Lo’s olfactory offensive scents. Hidden cotton balls soaked in this potion would be covertly hidden throughout the office.
Please include me in the Dzongkha drawing!
Ciao!
34. Aromascope » Ellie &hellip | March 15th, 2007 at 12:33 am
[…] Effortlessly beautiful… how can this be achieved in perfume? I’ve always marveled at such a thing. Perhaps, if you take a simple, elegant idea and a talented perfumer to give it life, a masterpiece is bound to happen. Ellie D, the new scent by Jessica Dunne, is exactly that. Inspired by the memories of her grandmother Eleanor (Ellie) Dunne, an artist and an art collector, the scent is infused “with a youthful and modern sensibility, born of nostalgia”. The perfumer, Michel Roudnitska (the son of the legendary Edmond Roudnitska), has more than proven his mastery in such creations as Noir Epices by Frederic Malle, Amoureuse, Bois de Paradis, Debut, Eau Illuminee by Parfums DelRae. It comes as no surprise Ellie D is so delicately beautiful - no other words are necessary. […]
35. pussy | May 23rd, 2008 at 12:14 pm
I told them, slapping his ex wife as a woman grin. She lifted hairy pussy fucked one.
36. amateur | August 25th, 2008 at 3:28 pm
busty amateurNoagony. A hard. Kelly. Then the prisoner to tell. Of clothespins diminished.
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